Ep.86 How to Survive a Cult And Start Life Over: Healing Trauma With Liané Elle (Part 1)

*Trigger warning* Today's episode briefly mentions sexual trauma, religious trauma and PTSD. If you have been or are affected by these topics, please listen with caution.

Have you ever been at a crossroads between leaving everything you know and stepping into an uncertain future? A life can split in two over a kitchen sink as my guest, Liané Elle, testifies when she stood in that ordinary moment but chose the unordinary path: leaving a high-control religion, navigating PTSD, and rebuilding from the ground up. What followed wasn’t a slog through endless therapy but a focused return to feeling alive, guided by the science of memory reconsolidation and practical tools for working with the unconscious mind.

We unpack the real mechanics of change—how recalling a memory can loosen its emotional grip, why “prediction errors” help the brain refile old pain with new meaning, and how this opens room for sleep, creativity, and presence. Liané’s “healing shortcut” reframes recovery as a fast lane back to living, not a permanent project. For founders, creatives, and activists, we explore the hidden costs of running on anger: jaw tension, tunnel vision, and a shut-down of the higher faculties that bold work requires. The alternative is clean energy—motivation powered by values and safety—so you can sustain momentum without burning out.

We also dive into religious trauma and purity culture, the “good girl” script many women are shedding in their 40s, and the everyday patterns that hold change makers back: perfectionism, fear of visibility, and the ache that “things should be different.” You’ll hear accessible practices—choosing a target feeling, amplifying micro-moments that match it, visualising near-term success—to harness neuroplasticity in daily life. Your brain is made to change and your story can too...

***Come back next week for a special second episode where we're diving into what it was really like growing up inside a religious cult...

To find out more about Liané and her services, head to her website: https://lianeellecoaching.com

Download Liané's ‘Made for This Moment’ Free Private Podcast for changemakers and cycle breakers who want to rise to the challenges of today and still be here, strong and resourced, for the long game: https://lianeellecoaching.com/private-podcast

Transcript

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Welcome To The Mischief Movement

Liané Elle 0:00

I would say my greatest mischief has been leaving the religious cult that I was born and raised in and really starting my life over, re-building my life, restarting, reinventing myself, and definitely not playing by the rules this time.

Zoe Greenhalf 0:15

Hey there, welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement Podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot, or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and bank up the fear as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episode, act with actionable advice, or interviews with some absolute balanced human beings who dare to define the normal by living life their way. We need to inspire, activate, empower and challenge. One is simple. You only get one point. Support you guys do ignorance. If you're ready to stop setting, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way. Let's dive in and stare at some together. Now buckle up and let's go.

Guest Introduction And Origin Story

Zoe Greenhalf 1:28

You know that moment when life smacks you in the face with a truth. So raw that it changes everything. For some of us, it's a breakup, a burnout, or a big birthday. For today's guest, it hit while standing at kitchen sink, washing dishes, and realizing that this life is so freaking short. That moment cracked her world wide open, and instead of crumbling, she decided to stop the juicer of life, all of it. But the road to freedom wasn't easy for her. Leaving the religious cult that she was born into, navigating PTSD, and rebuilding from scratch. Leon A. L. turned her pain into a purpose of helping change makers heal their trauma faster, deeper, and without years and years of therapy. She's the creator of the healing shortcut method, a trauma healing approach that blends neuroscience and unconscious communication to help people reclaim their full power quickly and gently. So if you've ever wondered how to turn rock bottom into rocket fuel, this conversation is for you. Let's dive in. So, welcome back to another episode of the Mischief Movement Podcast. And this week I'm excited to be joined by Leon A. I would love to ask you what your mischief is.

Liané Elle 2:50

Such a fun and enticing question to begin with. So personally, I would say my greatest mischief has been leaving the religious cult that I was born and raised in, and really starting my life over at 29, um, pretty much from scratch. And this time it I started with what actually matters to me as to as opposed to what was kind of handed down to me, the rules by religion, by my family, and of course also by culture at large. And so, yeah, that rebuilding my life, restarting, reinventing myself, that has been my greatest mischief. And definitely not playing by the rules this time. Professionally, my my mischief that I love making is disrupting conventional timelines and expectations around healing and specifically trauma healing, um, and how we can do that so that we can enjoy our lives, because that's what it's all about, and also make the impact that only we can make.

Zoe Greenhalf 3:59

Yeah, that's so juicy. And that's too that's a really powerful origin story. Um, you know, a high control cult, and I think living with some PTSD as well from that experience. Um what were some of the early clues that told you that healing was possible, even if the traditional path wasn't for you?

Liané Elle 4:25

I went down a f a few uh dead ends in my attempts to heal. So a little bit of the backstory

Leaving A Cult And PTSD

Liané Elle 4:35

of French. Yeah, like so. How did I end up with PTSD? Basically, was um after a series of really devastating betrayals in my marriage, I got married when I was 20, born and raised in a cult. So that happened really young. And then um things were kind of going along well until suddenly they totally weren't. And then I ended up getting divorced, and in that process, I also ended up leaving the cult and um or the high control religion and being um shunned by my family and all my friends and my community, but the the family was the most painful one. Um, and yeah, so in the space of just a few months, I I really lost everything, uh, including my job, my husband, of course, my home, my family, my community, and and my worldview. That one was really tough as well. Like everything I basically believed in came crashing down. And I was like a little deer, like trying to stand up, you know, to walk for the first time in a whole new world. Um, but I was also almost 30. And so, because of that series of losses, I was diagnosed with PTSD. And the first therapy I attempted was um just not useful. Um, just really talking about it over and over again and not finding any relief. And then I decided I'm free now, you know, I can do what I want. So I I I moved to Vietnam. I changed my career, I it was a whole thing, and here I was going off on living my best life. But once, yeah, once I was there, I was really confronted by, you know, wherever you go, there you are. You can't outrun yourself. Yeah. And um there I found a trauma therapist, someone who specialized in trauma and who worked with um what I am now obsessed with, uh, memory reconsolidation. So she did EMDR. And actually, I remember the the moment when I was like, oh my gosh, somebody understands what's happening to me. Because I think that was the part that was so disconcerting was um having all these PTSD symptoms, but not understanding them even or understanding why they were happening. And so on our very first appointment with this therapist, she handed me this little book called Trauma is Really Strange. And it was a little graphic novel or like short fiction, nonfiction book, but it was graphic. And I remember reading that book and just feeling like feeling like, oh my gosh, somebody actually understands what's going on here. And it just explained my experience and reflected it to me back so well that that I think was the first clue to me that if somebody at least understands what's going on, then maybe we have a chance of moving forward from this. Um, yeah. So yeah, I would say that was the first clue, a very long way to answer a short question.

Zoe Greenhalf 7:40

No, I think I can't even begin to imagine the courage that it took to walk away from this reality, the one that you've known up until that point, and then find that courage to then say, I'm just gonna make it work on my own. Um yeah. I mean, that's just such a such a huge transition.

Liané Elle 8:08

Um, you know, before we started recording, you mentioned that being compelled by that inner voice and that need for authenticity. Um, and

Finding Effective Trauma Therapy

Liané Elle 8:20

I think it's like, yes, from the outside, it looks courageous, and I can give myself props for that and be like, yes, that was courageous. But at the same time, it was almost like there was no other option, in a way, it felt like to me, because once I realized that I was part of something that wasn't what I thought it was, and it was like, well, there's no going back now. The scales had fallen from my eyes, and so it was the most difficult thing was figuring out the repercussions of that, and it was really difficult. But it also, I think there's you sometimes you get to that point where there's just that knowing inside you that you can't go back. You even if the going forward is unknown and looks scary, um, going backwards is just not an option.

Zoe Greenhalf 9:06

Yeah, absolutely. And what happened then after you came into contact with this trauma therapist? Did you feel like you had started your healing journey in that moment?

Liané Elle 9:18

Yes, yes. I definitely started feeling that there was someone who understood and not only understood, but also was doing things that were causing me to feel better and experience relief and making a change. Um, and that was so satisfying and exciting. Um, and so little by little that continued on, and yeah, that that was, I would say, the beginning of the healing when I actually found someone who could help me. Um and then yeah, then it's a long story from there to how I got to here, but um, that was certainly the beginning.

Zoe Greenhalf 9:59

Yeah.

From Fashion To Healing Work

Zoe Greenhalf 10:00

Where are you now? Because I know that you've created something called the healing shortcut. So between um having these meetings with this therapist, and now somewhere along the lines, you've made the decision to help other people, I guess.

Liané Elle 10:20

Yeah, yeah. So I had uh similarly to you, I had a career in fashion. And then with this, I was already sort of moving away from that before everything happened in my personal life. But then I had another uh job in marketing, which was amazing, but I realized that once I'd left the religion, and I realized that I really have just this one life because I'd been I had believed that I was gonna live forever. So I was always putting everything off. I didn't prioritize anything that I wanted because I believed that all of that would come in some future time. And I was a good girl, so I was told to do that, and I did it very well. Um, so I'd really never put any of my own needs first or what I wanted. And so when I realized, okay, I don't actually believe that that future is coming anymore, and I also am already probably like at least a third of the way through my life, that was a really pivotal moment for me in realizing, well, if I have just this life, no other life is is is guaranteed, it's just this one, and it's already, you know, well on its way. Yeah, what do I want to do? Like, how do I want to live the rest of whatever I have left? And so that became the driving force. That's why I moved to Vietnam. It was really like, okay, let me explore, let me suck the juice out of this life. Like um, but I hadn't taken into account the PTSD that was coming with me. But I did know I wanted to change my career, I wanted to be um independent, be able to work from anywhere, work for myself. I knew that much, but I didn't know how it was going to pan out. Yeah. And then when I had this experience with trauma healing, I was just like, this is it. This is what I want to do. Having experienced that myself and knowing the difference it made, for me, I just became completely obsessed with all things trauma healing and healing. Um, and yeah, then I spent the next seven years, which brings us to roughly now, really studying and figuring out uh the best ways to address trauma. And I decided to go the non-conventional route through coaching instead of uh therapy. I was actually, I was actually uh signed up to go do a master's in therapy, and then I was gonna progress along that way, that pathway. But at the last moment, I found a sex, love, and relationship coaching certification. It just I stumbled upon it intuitively, I guess.

Speaker 2 13:02

Yeah.

Liané Elle 13:04

And then in that moment, it was just one of those moments where my intuition was just like, this, this sounds better. And also, this sounds like a shortcut. Like this sounds like you'd be getting closer to what you want to do, but in a short way and in a much shorter time frame. And so I started with that. That was good, but as I went along, I started really coming up against points in my uh coaching with my clients where I was out of my depth, or I just couldn't help them further. We were on a real healing journey, but it would be these cycles of it feels better for a little while, but then it kind of pops up in a different way, or it's the same thing again. And um, that was really frustrating to me. I didn't want that. I wanted to clear things for them. And so I then went on to just find more things to study and to to learn. And um, yeah, where I am now, I've really found, I believe, some of the very, very, very best, most cutting-edge techniques in terms of that are based on the neuroscience of brain change and also how to communicate with the unconscious mind, because that's the thing that many healing modalities miss. But yet it's responsible for 97% of everything that we experience, our habits,

The Healing Shortcut Philosophy

Liané Elle 14:20

our emotions, our memories, all of that, our thoughts, you know. So once I found techniques that really um targeted that very specifically, as well as I mentioned previously, memory reconsolidation, but that's really what that trauma therapist was doing with me. I didn't know back then. But but what does that mean? Memory consolidation. Okay, this is my favorite topic in the whole world.

Speaker 2 14:45

So I'm really curious.

Liané Elle 14:49

The way most of us think about memory is that it's kind of fixed or static. You have this bank of memories, and then you call one up and you think about it, you remember how it was, and then it goes back into storage again, and that's that. And unfortunately for you, if you've had some bad memories, um, then you're kind of stuck with them because you know, they're your memories, and memories are just uh are unchangeable, really, because I mean you can't change what happened, so of course you can't change the memory. So that's the common idea or understanding of memory. And what they've learned in recent years um is that it actually isn't like that at all. And so each time you recall a memory, you bring it out of storage, it's it becomes malleable. So I call it like there are two tracks there's the autobiographical track or the facts, what happened, you know, the actual facts. And then there's the emotional track of the memory. This is the meaning, this is how you feel when you think about it now, it's how you felt back then. So memory reconsolidation doesn't change the the narrative or the facts, but what you can change and what becomes malleable is the meaning and the feelings surrounding the memory. Okay.

unknown 16:11

Yeah.

Liané Elle 16:11

So it's like if you think of like a word document, if uh memory is a word document, and what most of us are doing subtly all the

Memory Reconsolidation Explained

Liané Elle 16:20

time is when we remember something, it's like you open the word or the Google Doc, and you it's like you're making one or two small changes because each time you remember something, you're remembering it from your current vantage point. So a lot has happened since it since the memory was formed. And so when you think about it now, it can't help but be influenced by who you are now, how you think now, what you know happened subsequently. So it changes slightly. And this is where people will say like time heals all wounds. Which I don't agree with that in terms of all wounds. I think if this thing was significant enough, disturbing enough, no amount of time is gonna heal it. You need a strategic intervention. But people do often seem to get better with things over time. And that is because each time they remember it, as time has passed, they have enough evidence to know, okay, well, I did actually survive it and it didn't derail my life and I'm okay now. So that's how that works. But what but with what I do and with what memory reconsolidation is, is you call up the memory and then you very strategically cause what they call a prediction error. So our brains work on prediction, right? Everything is based on what happened before and what it thinks is because it has to save energy. It can't always be looking at everything that's present and reality. So that's why the unconscious mind will predict what's most likely based on the past. Yeah. So if you can cause a prediction error where, for example, someone is calling up the memory of the worst thing that's ever happened to them, but they're connected with me and we're laughing. Like we're actually have like making jokes and having a good time whilst they're thinking about this thing that used to be so disturbing, it causes the brain to kind of glitch and and it's like, wait, what? Like, how can we be laughing or or okay whilst thinking about this thing? And in that moment, the emotional track of the memory basically unlocks and you can insert new ways of feeling and thinking about it. Um, and then once the memory goes back into storage, uh when you call it up again, if you've been successful, they will be able to remember what happened, but it will be there, people often describe it as it's like a movie, like it, I I know what happened, but it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with me, really. Yeah, you know, or they'll be like, it was it feels kind of far away, or I know what happened, but I don't really care anymore. And that's when you know, okay, you've shifted it, and then they're free of whatever that thing was. Um, so that's why I'm obsessed with it.

Zoe Greenhalf 19:16

That's amazing. That is incredible, and so I've I think that your method actually kind of flips on its head this idea that healing takes a really long time, doesn't it? And in this way, yes, you manage to get results a lot quicker.

Liané Elle 19:34

Yes, exactly. So that's why I call it the healing shortcut, because I am being a little bit irreverent to the idea of a healing journey. Uh, because I found through my own journey and through my clients' experiences that everyone has this awareness nowadays, or many people at least do, that healing is a really useful thing to do and it's worth putting time and energy into. And that's a beautiful thing. I I'm so happy that we have this awareness. It's definitely taking us in the direction we want to go. Yeah. But I think that somewhere along the line, it's become for some people more about the healing. Like the healing itself has become the thing. Whereas to me, I think because of my heightened awareness of life short and I just want to enjoy it, I'm like, no, I'm I'm not here for the healing. The healing is a means to an end. The the end being being alive, having a great life, feeling good, making it impact. And so I want to disrupt this idea of you need to go on a healing journey and it's gonna take so long, and it's gonna be cycling round and round. And I'm like, no, let's take a shortcut, but not one that doesn't work, like one that gets you to where you want to go, but it's just faster. So yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf 20:58

And then one thing that stood out to me is that you help creatives and founders and and activists. So we're talking about people living bold, loud lives, and you help them get out of their own way. So, what kind of patterns or blocks do you most often see stopping these change makers in their tracks?

Liané Elle 21:23

Yes, so I love change makers. I think when I say change makers and you say rebels or disruptors, it's you know, it's a very similar thing we're talking about. It's someone who's not accepting the status quo, and someone who is like disrupting, changing, uh flipping, whatever the accepted way of doing things. And so, in terms of patterns or things I often see them getting stuck on, so there's obviously trauma. Like that's one area where people will know, and specifically um sexual trauma is something I really love to address and clear for somebody. Um, so that could be one thing. So many women have been have experienced sexual trauma in their life, and the research shows that the effects from that is are so devastating. And, you know, there's one thing, it's one side of it to be like, yeah, I have PTSD. But for many others, it's much more subtle. And it could have been years ago, it could have been something that you think isn't even having an impact. But when you hesitate to say what you think in a meeting or in a conversation with a family member, or there's

Patterns Blocking Change Makers

Liané Elle 22:40

even things like procrastination, there's fears around visibility. Um, so much of that can be coming from sometimes sexual trauma, but other times other things that were essentially disturbing to us when we were younger, beliefs got formed around that, and now we don't even realize that that's actually the reason why we kind of feel stuck or we're not building momentum in the things that we care about. So there's yeah, there's definitely trauma. Um, and also it something I really help my clients with specifically often is because they're change makers, they they care deeply about the world and making a difference and seeing what's happening in the world is really painful because we care. And so holding both the pain of and the awareness and not looking away with resourcing themselves, fueling themselves, and being able to keep going in the face of so much suffering and and often feeling like you're trying to climb an insurmountable mountain. That is a lot of my work as well, to adjust the ways they're thinking, feeling, so that they become really like ninjas at being able to hold that duality and to also be fueled by, I would say, like a clean source of energy. Um, that doesn't lead to burnout ultimately. Because as a change maker, if you are a creative, if you're an activist, if you are um a leader in some way trying to make a difference, and that usually means you're facing some kind of problem that you're trying to solve or you're pushing back against, or it can be so difficult. And I mean, even just as like a human, facing what we're facing every day, it can be so difficult to not just give up, firstly. So that's the one option that is real. And then secondly, what I see a lot is change makers being fueled by anger and pain and the sort of pushing against. And whilst that is so understandable, I just know like what that's causing inside, right? We all know, and it's not sustainable. That's my only issue with it, is it's not a sustainable source of energy. And so I try to redirect that so that they have clean sources of energy fueling them that are gonna keep them going for the long run. Um, so yeah, that's some of the work I do most often.

Zoe Greenhalf 25:27

What does that look like? A clean source of energy. Is that the part where you are helping to address some of the pain and I don't know, get them to come at their project or their business or their life from um a place of I don't know, not necessarily being healed, but I don't know. Can you explain it to me?

Liané Elle 25:49

Yes, yes, so I will do my best. So I've actually just created a a freebie for people around this topic specifically because it is something I see, yeah, something I see draining so much energy and capacity and power from change makers, but also just from anyone trying to live a beautiful wildlife. The freebie goes into like the practicality and it offers some really useful perspective shifts. But the the thinking behind it is that often what compels us or moves us to action, especially when we're in a state of fight or flight, which we're constantly being put into by the headlines and so forth and just the reality, um the response is either the flight, so you know, runaway or shutdown or whatever. Or if you're a change maker though, most likely it's fight. So when it comes to those basic survival instincts, the response in our body to that is anger. And in my world, the way I think about that is because that is that more primal survival system, um, it's operating at like the level of a zebra. So that part of your mind,

Clean Energy Versus Anger Fuel

Liané Elle 27:08

when that part takes over, it's in a zebra, it when it gets angry, when it feels threatened in a way that where it doesn't make sense to run away, but it makes sense to fight, it actually all the blood rushes to the jaw, and it the animal becomes like super focused, their, you know, the eyesight narrows down and their jaw becomes really strong so that they can bite, right? Like uh when a dog is angry, it doesn't run away, it it attacks. So that same mechanism is actually working within us, meaning that when we get angry and when that's our source of fuel, the effect physiologically is essentially just a rush of uh blood and strength to the jaw, which for humans is never useful. Like, I don't know when last you had to rip into someone with your mouth. Um, and like that's that's not gonna happen. That's I can honestly say that will never be useful. Many, many people experience jaw pain or um teeth grinding at night, right? That's like something we TMJ is many people will recognize that, but even if you just think about someone who's angry, if you look at them, their face is usually red, their eyes are really fixed, um, and that's because the blood's rushing to their jaw. And whilst that is useless on its own, because that's never going to help you in 2025. The part that's even worse is that when that happens, access to the more evolved part of your mind, so creativity, um, logic, rationality, visa, um, passion, humor, and also healing and repair within the body, all of that is severely decreased or even shut off. And your body mind is responding to this imminent threat by sending all the energy to a drawer, basically.

Zoe Greenhalf 29:09

Yeah.

Liané Elle 29:10

And that is where I say that's like a non-sustainable form of energy because it's not actually useful, like it's not making you better, yeah. And also it's taking away your access to what you do need in these moments to be effective, but it's instinctive, and so a lot of my work is working with the unconscious mind to get it to get that that response isn't useful. I'm not saying like you need to be all calm and mellow and kumbaya, like not at all. And sometimes anger can be useful as like an initial spark into action and it can give clarity, as in I you see something in the world, and you are like absolutely. Not, I hate this. And it gives you clarity, it gives you information, and it can cause an initial spark of energy or even action. But for change makers, long term, if you're going through that cycle every day, consciously but unconsciously, pretty much all the time. And then even when you're asleep, you're grinding your teeth, and which means that healing and repair in the body is shut down. It's just not going to work long term. And so working with that is something I feel very passionate about because I want as many people fighting and changing and being effective. Um, and I know that they need clarity and access to those inner resources in order to be able to do that.

Zoe Greenhalf 30:44

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Liané Elle 31:46

Yes. Yes. Um, when I started out um as a sex love and relationship coach, that was what I focused on the most because that was what I knew. Um religious trauma, as it's called. And that was also during the time in the US, predominantly, where a lot of people were uh deconstructing, which is like leaving, they call it, yeah, I don't know, that's like a specific term, but it it means leaving their former religious frameworks behind and sort of deconstructing those ways of thinking, um, especially from like right-wing conservative evangelical Christianity. So we won't go into detail, but there was a specific person that came into power, and then that caused a lot of people to realize like this wasn't working for them. And so at that time was when I just started my coaching business. And so there were a lot of um ex-evangelical Christians um that I worked with, as well as people from some other high

Religious Trauma And Purity Culture

Liané Elle 32:48

control religions that I'd never even heard of myself. But once you sort of look under the lid, the mechanisms of control that are used are all the same. Like they all these these groups all think they're so special and unique and chosen. But when you look at them, they're like all using the exact same things. And yeah, so I specifically helped a large number of clients and and still do with um what's called a purity culture trauma, which is that keep yourself pure for marriage, for your husband, uh, and modest and don't tempt men and this and that. And so that's been that was a very, very big part of what I have helped my clients um deconstruct and heal from.

Zoe Greenhalf 33:37

It just makes me think of not in a religious context, but just in more of a patriarchal society, this idea of the good girl and yes, um, you see more and more uh women as sort of hitting the 40s and rebelling back and going, do you know what? I've played the good girl my entire life, and where has it got me? Exactly. So I think a lot of what we've talked about also speaks to that woman who who hasn't been involved in anything like a religious cult, but still feels that sense of obligation to behave in a certain way, and perhaps now is on the edge of like, I'm not sure if that's really who I want to be anymore, which is kind of interesting.

Liané Elle 34:24

Yeah, yeah, I I totally agree. I think these high control religions or groups have taken patriarchal ideas to an extreme. Yeah, it's all the same. It's all the same stuff. Like, um, and so yeah, the breaking free from good goal conditioning and and really asking these questions, like which is what your work is all about. Like, what do I actually want to do with my life? What makes me feel alive? What brings me joy? Where do I want to disrupt things um for the sake of fun and um pleasure? That that's the same. I think in that way, our work has such a similar through line.

Zoe Greenhalf 35:01

Yeah. I think one of the fundamental parts of your story is this idea that you had to start your life from scratch. And how old were you when you did that? I was 29. Okay. So for anybody who feels like they're kind of stuck or lost or they've outgrown their current life, especially if anybody sat there going, oh, but it's too late because I didn't make the move when I was 20. Um what do you think might be one first step that they could take today to start shifting things, um, you know, without blowing their whole lives up? Or maybe, maybe burning it down and starting again. I don't know.

Liané Elle 35:47

Yeah, but I think that that can sometimes be something that puts people off, right? The idea that, oh my gosh, for things to get better, I have to blow it all up. Um yeah, and so I think if you have the capacity for that, or if you're sort of forced into that, like I was, where it kind of just happened and then you just went along with it, that that's something a choice, is it? Yeah, it's not really a choice. But if you ha feel like you you could just keep going with things the way they are, or you could try to make some changes, then I think the thing that I would say is just having an intention.

Starting Over Without Burning It All Down

Liané Elle 36:24

So obviously keeping it general because I don't know this specific person's situation, but I think if you can connect to the feeling of how you'd like to feel more of the time because you're obviously not happy with how things are feeling or going, and maybe you don't even know the specifics of how to shift that. But if you can begin to identify what it is you'd like to feel, so I heard you from your story, you know, there was definitely more fun, you wanted more fun. That was a word you kept saying, like more fun, more aliveness. And so just knowing, okay, that's the feeling I'm going for. Um because ultimately everything we're we're doing is to achieve a feeling. Um, and many different things can achieve cause the same feeling. There are only a limited amount of feelings, but there are infinite amounts of things we can do to cause them. So knowing what's the feeling you're looking for, and then beginning to notice what gives you that feeling. Like, what do you already do where you can feel that, or beginning to try things. If you're not noticing anything, um, just trying. And I think that's also a lot of your message as well. It's like just try things and see, like, throw spaghetti at the wall. You don't have to blow up your whole life, but like, what if you took up a dancing class and you just saw how that went? What I'll add from like a subconscious strategy perspective, um, is the tendency when we're stuck or we're unhappy is to notice all the ways that we're stuck and unhappy. And whatever we're sort of noticing, our unconscious mind brings more of that to the fore because it thinks that that's important, right? Like whatever. So as hard as it may be, as much just and you don't need to be perfect, but just begin to intend to do this. When you're not feeling the way you want to feel, when things aren't going the way you like, just ignore that. Don't put too much energy towards it. But when you notice, oh my gosh, I felt so alive today. I felt so excited when I did that thing and it felt so good. Then notice and appreciate that. So celebrate it, amp it up, amplify it, be like, oh my gosh, that was amazing. I love that. Because that gives your mind the message, okay, more of that. Filter more of those types of experiences in. It's not even in like a manifestation woo-woo way, although that could be part of it. That's a mystery. Like, we can't quite figure that one out yet, but there's that might be part of it. But I know from like an unconscious mind perspective, your mind will start to filter in more of that, it will bring more of that to you. So even just sitting, uh like imagining, so using the power of your imagination to visualize for a few moments how you would like to feel in a couple of weeks' time. So imagining like it's the end of the day, you're doing something, making a cup of tea, and you're thinking back on the day and you're like, wow, that was a fun day. I I like that that I did, I like that. And just beginning to see that future um as if it's already happened. That's a really powerful way to sort of reverse engineer it actually happening.

Zoe Greenhalf 39:39

Yeah. Oh, I love that. And you're so right, it is, isn't it? It's about setting that intention um that you know that something needs to change, you want something to change, and you make that decision, and that's probably the starting point.

Liané Elle 39:59

Yeah, and you don't need to know all the details. Like, I think that's what puts people off. Like, oh, I'm gonna have to blow up my whole life, or oh, I'm gonna have to know everything how it's gonna work out before I even start.

Zoe Greenhalf 40:10

You know, we're only humans, aren't we? And the idea of uncertainty scares us.

Liané Elle 40:15

So yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's like I think just starting small, starting with the feeling, intending more of the feeling, noticing it when you're experiencing it, um, celebrating it, that sort of tends to multiply. And the more you try more things, the more you get information and feedback, and then you can adjust, adjust. Um But yeah, start and visualize where you'd like to end up, and you'll you'll end up way closer to it than if you didn't.

Zoe Greenhalf 40:44

Yeah, and I think you know, right here is the proof that um whilst change can be difficult, it's can it's not impossible.

Liané Elle 40:55

Yeah. Yeah, and your brain is made to change.

Zoe Greenhalf 40:58

You can create yourself a second chance or a third chance or a pivot again whenever you want, you know.

Liané Elle 41:05

Yeah, yeah. I think like so many of us find change hard or we find it difficult um or or scary, but once I realized really how much our brains are just sitting there ready to change, like the neural networks, meaning, you know, the habits we have, the things we tend to do that have been grooved in, can so easily really be deconstructed and remade. We do that all the time. You know, if you've learned a language um when you were younger and then you don't use it, you lose it, like they say, right? And it's literally because your brain's like, oh, we don't need this for this anymore. We can use this uh architecture to build something else. And that's like that neuroplasticity is so amazing. It means that we can build new habits, we can build new ways of thinking really by just knowing how to do that. But unfortunately, that's the part that

Neuroplasticity And Real Change

Liané Elle 42:00

it's not as widely known, but it's becoming more and more known. And so, yeah, I think that's just exciting, knowing that change is possible and your brain is made to change. That can also really help in terms of I love that.

Zoe Greenhalf 42:12

Your brain is made to change. I'm gonna remember that one.

Liané Elle 42:14

Yeah, yeah, I love it. I like I remind myself too. I'm like, your brain is made to change. Yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf 42:19

Yeah. Liona, it's been so lovely speaking to you. Um, where can people find out more about you or connect with you around your work or your story or anything?

Liané Elle 42:30

Yeah, thank you. Um, I'm on Instagram, Liona underscore l underscore coaching, um, or my website, liana lcoaching.com. Um, and yeah, I've I'm really excited about that freebie that I mentioned that I'm making because it's just a it's a little mini private podcast that they can uh listen to. It's less than it's three episodes and it's less than 30 minutes, but it's like laser precision targeted on how to stop that energy drain, also specifically around thinking that things should be different, either in the world or personally. Um that is something that causes a lot of pain and loss of power, actually. Um, and the way I explain it and give you a very easy shift to start changing that um is something I'm very excited about. Whether you know you're a change maker and you're doing something out there in the world, or you there's something in your personal life where you're like, that shouldn't have happened, or I wish that had been different. Um, this is all about giving you back your full power so you can actually cause it to some, cause things to be different going forward.

Zoe Greenhalf 43:35

Amazing. Oh, thank you so much for sharing your story and your your knowledge. And um, let's keep in touch and then perhaps we can have another conversation in the future.

Liané Elle 43:47

Thank you for having me. I've loved talking to you.

Zoe Greenhalf 43:51

So before you hop off back to designing your life, here's my rebellious recap from my conversation with Lyon A. So, number one, wherever you go, there you are. You can't outrun yourself. Number two, it's worth remembering that therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all. If you've tried in the past but found that you didn't get the outcome you were expecting, try exploring it again with a different therapist, a different technique, or even starting from a simple book. The key is to find what works for you.

Where To Find Liona And Her Freebie

Zoe Greenhalf 44:20

Number three, memory is malleable. You can't change the facts, but it is possible to change the meaning and emotions or feelings surrounding that memory. Four, if you're on the edge of changing something up in your life but feeling scared, set an intention and try to connect with how you'd like to feel as much as possible. Five, there are only a limited amount of feelings, but there are infinite amounts of things we can do to cause them. Number six, you can use the power of visualization to reinforce your intention to bring you closer to the feelings and life that you want more of. Is it manifestation? We're not entirely sure, but it definitely helps you notice what makes you feel good and get focused on creating more of it. And number seven, your brain is made to change. So don't get trapped by the idea of being too old, too experienced, or too set in your own ways. That's a wrap on another episode of the Mischief Movement Podcast. If today's content stirred something in you, let's keep in touch on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my Mischief Mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovement.com. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious, and of

Rebellious Recap And Closing

Zoe Greenhalf 46:00

course, keep making mischief.